Choices

Flash Fiction Piece

Choices

I slammed my head against the wall trying to erase the pain in my heart. But I knew it was no use. I slid down the wall until I hit the bathroom floor and reached for my golden savior. I may not be able to erase my pain, but I can sure as hell drown it.

I took the cap of the bottle of Jack and began my slow descent into oblivion. One swig. Two swigs. Three swigs. Half a bottle.

“You’re beautiful, you’re beau-“ I choked, tears pouring down my face. “Lies, all lies.” I whispered. I slipped my hand in my pocket and wrapped my hand around the bottle that could easily end it all. I grabbed it out of my mom’s medicine cabinet after she went to work. She won’t notice them missing. Heck, she won’t notice me missing either.

No one will. That’s what I am, forgetful. Invisible. The guy everyone looks at with disgust, the guy they wish would disappear.

But it wasn’t always like that though. I used to have it all, popularity, fame, the girl… Mandy. The girl I would give anything for. The girl I loved. The one I lost.

I took a long pull from my bottle of Jack as memories of that night swirled through my head. Mandy in a red chiffon prom dress, her long golden hair pulled up in lose curls that framed her perfectly angelic face. I scooped her in my arms and twirled her around, causing her to giggle.

I wish I could freeze that moment and live there forever. But there is no rewind button in life. Just the here and now. Split second decisions. Choices. It all comes down to choices.

And I made the wrong one.

“Do you need me to drive Ray?” Mandy asked, as we existed the prom arm in arm.

“I got this.”

She believed me, trusted me.

“Ray, look out!” Mandy shouted in terror. I slammed on the brakes, but it was too late.

“M—mmandy?” I stammered. “Mandy, are you okay?” I said more firmly. Or I think I did anyway. I tried to look in the passenger seat, but my vision was blurry. All I could see was orange. And it was hot, like hell hot.

“Mandy?” I cried. But Mandy was gone.

And so was life as I knew it. I pulled the bottle out of my pocket and grabbed the bottle of Jack with the other hand. I could end it all. End my life and escape the pain of remembering. Leave behind the scars that mar my face and stain my heart.

It wouldn’t take much to end my life, just down both bottles and say good bye.

Life’s all about choices. Choices that shape our future, that determine who we will become. I already made one wrong choice. I already let down everyone I loved once. I dropped both bottles, brought my head to my knees and cried.

I choose life.